Recently while minding my own business on Facebook, a meme on forgiving came up. The meme said “Forgive people in your life, even those who are not sorry for their actions. Holding onto anger only hurts you, not them.”
Several people liked it. Indicating a possibility that other people have trouble forgiving just like me.
When we forgive we release the hurt that binds us to the unthinkable actions of others who are beyond our control.
But how do we get to that point of release?
Asking for God’s help is my only way through the issue.
Obsessing
But first, my mind obsesses in a frenzied furry of bewildered misunderstanding of how or why someone could do such a thing. The hurt replaying over and over until I finally, tired of the endless replay, I ask God, “Help me stop obsessing.”
Thankfully God is faithful to help.
Then comes the task of turning it over to God. This is where the seventy times seven comes in. But who’s counting? Certainly I’m ready to let go. Only to pick the issue right back up.
Sometimes forgiveness take time. Grief is part of the equation. Disappointment and loss over unmet expectations tear at our heart. Feelings rise and fall until at last the tug of war is surrendered.
My mind insists on grappling with the offense and the offender. All to no avail. Nothing has changed and I am still hurt and angry after seventy attempts to lay the problem down.
Then I remember those in the Bible who were wronged. Like Joseph, sold into slavery by jealous brothers. Matters worsened by a false accusation by the kings wife. Those circumstances top any of my experiences.
Then, what about all my offenses? Knowing God so freely forgives me, helps me to let go of others offenses.
Undoubtedly the quicker I forgive, the sooner my peace returns. Forgiving is like cutting a snared anchor that prevents my ship from making progress. The sooner I cut the rope, the sooner I’ll be free from the hurt and pain. Then the Lord can fill my sails and lead me toward the healing needed.
Sometimes letting go feels like the person is getting off the hook. But my job is to focus on me, not the offender.
Will God take care of the offender? Amazingly he always does. Maybe not in my time or my way. My job is to leave the offender at the foot of the cross.
So how do you approach forgiving others? After all this is the Season of Lent. Anyone need to extend grace and forgive?
Bible Verse for the Day
“But if you do not forgive others [nurturing your hurt and anger with the result that it interferes with your relationship with God], then your Father will not forgive your trespasses.“ (Matthew 6:15 AMP)
Then Peter came to Him and asked, “Lord, how many times will my brother sin against me and I forgive him and let it go? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered him, “I say to you, not up to seven times, but seventy times seven. (Matthew 18:21-22 AMP).
Prayer
Father, come before you and ask that you will help us to forgive those who have wronged us. Each one. Some offenses have had lasting and crippling effects. Please help us with each one. Free us from the pain of other’s sin and from the hurt that adds to bitterness and anger. Restore us oh God, and remove not your Holy Spirit from us. Amen
Other publications from Nanette: Coping Skills for Caregivers
Photo Credits: Zoritsa-Valova unsplash, Mateus-Campos-Felipe unsplash
© 2020 Nanette M. Holloway-All Rights Reserved
