Faded Dreams

After spending time with the Shepher King, the Country Girl returns home. The place of security since childhood and the family she knew and loved.

But her mind was preoccupied with every detail of her encounter with the Shepherd King. Daydreams expanded into grandiose plans of more romantic encounters and maybe even adventures beyond the shade of the apple tree.

But the memories of the apple tree stirred her most. When would she see the Beloved again and feed on all His goodness? What would be the next divine provision only he could give? How could he outdo the last perfect encounter with all the lavish gifts? And when would he deliver her from her cruel brothers and all this work. She misses all the sweet tasting apples.

Faded Dreams

He promised to give her the desires of her heart. But what exactly did that mean? She searched her wildest dreams and all the remote, impossible scenarios she could conjure. Yet the future still looked like yesterday with all the familiar trappings of the farm and the vineyard.

According to her short insight those dreamy scenarios were for someone else. Probably not her. She reminded herself that the Shepherd King was the creator of all, and in his words, nothing was impossible to him.

Her hope rose momentarily above her current stature and all the hard work in the field. Maybe he really did have something good for her. He heart leapt at the brief thought that surely, he would perfect all that concerned her.

But nothing changed. She continued with her work on the farm and her brothers’ vineyards. Her own vineyard continued untended and dying from neglect. She said a small prayer to the Shepherd King as her dreams quietly faded.

She focused on the work and let the silly daydreams go. They only added to her discontent and disappointment.

A Wall for the King

Occasionally the passion she felt with the Shepherd King would rise in her heart. To keep him close, she built a wall in honor of their time together on one side of the sunny porch. On the other side she constructed a beautiful lattice that would soon support lavish vegetation. She loved her enclosure. A place of quiet serenity and peace to escape from the world.

But in truth the walls were deceptions of her grandiose daydream ideas used by the Enemy who wanted to destroy her love relationship with the Shepherd King. Satan used subtle tricks to get followers of Jesus off their path of righteousness. And the enclosure worked in his scheming hands.

Some of the deceptions built into the wall were childhood untruths that added to her faux security in life. The best example was the little lie she told herself that one day her brothers would appreciate all her hard work and would certainly help her with her vineyard. They would realize her indispensable contribution to their success and reward her with fair treatment. And another, that her vineyard would be okay until she was done helping her brothers. She reminded herself that she was loved by the Shepherd King and that was enough.

But her unmet expectations only ended in bitter disappointment and resentment toward her brothers. The silent anger writhed in her heart and smoldered.

The carefully constructed paradise allowed just enough light to filter through the lattice. The temperature was always comfortable. But her beautiful enclosure for her Beloved seemed empty and cold.

Faded Memories of the King

An ever so subtle nagging discontent rose in her spirit. Doubts surfaced. Her memory of the Shepherd King faded. She wondered where he was. Had He left her? Maybe he didn’t really love her as he said. What about all those promises he made? Was he trustworthy? Maybe he was just like every other lover that came and went. I’m no better off than before that magnificent encounter. Nothing ever changes and it never will.

Others notice a change in the Country Girl. She seems angry and snaps at everyone who dares confront her or even converse with her. Her once joyful demeaner conveys nothing but irritability.

Discouragement, doubt, and bitterness captivate every thought. Faith in the Beloved dwindles. Hope fades.

What now? Where will I go from here?

Fear grips her heart. She longs to hear the Shepherd King’s Whisper. But only silence lingers.

Then she remembers the faith of the forefather’s Abraham, Isaac and so many others. She opens the Bible and reads Hebrews 11:1-2. Faith is the assurance of things not seen… Then reads further focusing on each person’s faith mentioned.

Maybe she needs more faith. Then at the end of the chapter in verse 39-40, she reads that all people do not receive what they hope for. But God approved of them because of their faith.

She waits patiently for his return and prays for faith.

Scripture for Today

“Now faith is the assurance title deed, confirmation of things hoped for divinely guaranteed, and the evidence of things not seen the conviction of their reality—faith comprehends as fact what cannot be experienced by the physical senses. For by this kind of faith the men of old gained divine approval” (Hebrew 11:1-2 AMP).

“And all of these, though they gained divine approval through their faith, did not receive the fulfillment of what was promised, because God had us in mind and had something better for us, so that they these men and women of authentic faith would not be made perfect that is, completed in Him apart from us” (Hebrews 11:39-40 AMP).

Prayer for You Today

Beloved of God, may the Lord manifest his love, peace and joy in times of discouragement and doubt. May God provide that authentic faith through his grace. Amen.

© 2024 Nanette M. Holloway—All Rights Reserved

Perhaps you need a new journal? How about a new Gratitude Journal?