Caregiver grief is an ever-present wound of the soul and spirit. A festering wound. Caregiver grief may first surface with the first untoward sign of illness, a new diagnosis of cancer or the birth of an imperfect child.
Caregiving comes with a package of grief ready to jump out like a Jack-in-the-Box toy at the most inopportune moments.
The wound festers as your loved one complains of new symptoms. Perhaps Alzheimer’s Disease is creating a slow, endless decline. Or maybe your once strong spouse morphs into a weak unrecognized partner.
Grief tears at the heart. Caregiver grief is characterized by anticipatory grief. Anticipatory grief is defined as the loss felt before a loved one dies. The pain felt is just as hurtful as grief following death.
My own caregiving journey was overshadowed by anticipatory grief. My dad’s diagnosis with cancer of the esophagus at 90 threatened my existing reality. The journey ahead threatened with phantasmal shadows lurking on all sides. My head was filled with magnified fear, dread and apprehension. Denial whispered that my dad was not elderly and the prayerful plea…”I’m not ready for my dad to die.”
Honor your grief. Share with someone that loves you. The feelings are real. Cry when needed. Pray to God who always hears your cry.
Scriptures for the Grieving Soul
Even though I walk through the [sunless] [a]valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort and console me. (Psalm 23:4 AMP)
The cords of death surrounded me,
And the streams of ungodliness and torrents of destruction terrified me.
The cords of Sheol (the nether world, the place of the dead) surrounded me;
The snares of death confronted me.
In my distress [when I seemed surrounded] I called upon the Lord
And cried to my God for help;
He heard my voice from His temple,
And my cry for help came before Him, into His very ears. (Psalm 18:4-6 AMP)
Prayer for the Grieving Soul
Father, you know those whose hearts are laden with grief. The caregiver laden with grief and endless responsibilities. Help them in the time of need and bring comfort to heavy hearts. You are acquainted with our grief. Give them a special strength for their journey today. Amen.
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© 2020 Nanette M. Holloway-All Rights Reserved
